Wednesday, January 9, 2013

37 Weeks

I'd almost talked myself out of doing these updates anymore given the ankle situation, but I finally decided I'd regret it later if I didn't document the final stretch. It's very hard to differentiate between what's a pregnancy symptom vs. an ankle/surgery symptom right now, but here goes nothing.




Total Weight Gain: Considering I'm sporting a boot that weighs about 10 pounds round the clock and I can't stand up, no more weight checks for me. I'd imagine I'm still close to 30 lbs gained though. 

Size of Baby: Claire is the size of a wintermelon. At her impromptu New Years Eve ultrasound, her weight estimate was about 6 lbs, 7 ounces. By the way, hospital ultrasounds are a huge letdown! The tech was as quiet as a statue, wouldn't give any feedback, and the screen was out of my view so I got nothing from it! Mind you this was after I fell, so this was not just a fun ultrasound. It was done to make sure things with the baby looked alright after I fell, so I was just laying there crying through some of it since the tech was so silent. My sister, mom, and Cam watched over his shoulder and thought everything looked fine, but we didn't get official confirmation on that for hours until after a radiologist read it and transmitted the info to my doctor. The next time I see this little chick-a-dee better be in the flesh!

Maternity Clothes: Not really. I don't really wear normal clothes anymore. I wear huge t-shirts and loose comfortable shorts/pants - whatever fits over the boot. They almost had to cut my beloved maternity jeans off in the hospital because of the gigantic splint I had initially, but thank goodness my sassy L&D nurse quashed that idea quick, so my pants were saved. Thank the Lord for small mercies. I'll probably never get to wear them again this pregnancy anyway. :(

Sleep: Last Saturday night, I slept normally for the first time since my fall. I woke up every two hours, but I did sleep deeply. For the days before that, I did this weird "half asleep but still conscious" sleeping, probably brought on by the medication.

Movement: She moves a lot and she's huge so it's very noticeable! I feel a lot of stuff way up high or way down low, so sometimes I can't tell if it's movement or contractions.

Cravings: Mashed potatoes

What I Miss: Where do I begin? I'll start with the trivial. I miss my real wedding rings. My fake eternity band from Banana Republic is a good substitute, but there's just nothing like real bling. Right now I watch everyone's hands to see their wedding rings and I covet them, just like I did before we got engaged. I also covet everyone else's ability to just get up and walk around like it's nothing! I'm so jealous. I miss a lot of things right now because of my ankle, but I'll stop there.

Gender: Our sweet baby daughter - Claire Campbell Todd. She is truly my saving grace right now. It is extremely scary to face delivering and caring for our first baby while immobilized, but if I was facing this ankle situation without having her arrival to look forward to, I would be very depressed right now. 

Mood: Changes all the time. I'm excited she's coming soon and still very sad that I won't be able to be in the physical condition I want to be in when she arrives. I'm dealing with a lot of bitterness over this situation. I'm willing to lose six weeks (or more) of mobility some other time in my life, but right now is such an important time and it just feels like a nightmare. It breaks my heart that I'll spend part of my maternity leave recovering from this injury. It's not how this was supposed to be at all and I hate that. Don't get me wrong though - I'm extremely determined and persistent, and I will be doing everything I would be doing for her if I could walk, I'll just do it from my bed. We're going to snuggle a lot! I can't allow myself to face the whole big picture of how we will make this work - it's too overwhelming and makes me cry. All I can do is face it one day at a time. 

Symptoms: Carpal tunnel (makes using my hands for crutches even more of an adventure!), Braxton Hicks contractions that generally go away if I drink water, sore all over all the time, and hot, hot, hot! The only place I really go anymore is doctor's offices and I always wind up sweating like a hog and having to take off my sweater because I get so hot. Poor Cam is living like an eskimo.

Milestones: We've officially made it to full term! That's pretty amazing! Also, I'm officially on maternity leave...with no baby. I can't work because of this ankle injury, but that should be it's own separate leave and should not count against my maternity leave, but my school district doesn't see it that way. Yet another reason I will NEVER teach again after this year. 

Anything Else You'd Like to Share: I went for my 37 week appointment today. Everything with the baby looks good! The doctor decided not to check my cervix today, but is going to when I come in next week. We are in the process of scheduling an induction for two weeks from now because of the blood thinner medication I'm on. We have to figure some stuff out with Cam's work schedule and then we'll have a date set. I'm excited and can't believe it's so close! I really hope I'll be in much better shape by then in terms of my recovery, as I'm going to need my strength. I really hope I don't end up having a c-section. I have no fear of the procedure itself, as my surgery last week was the exact same process I'd go through if I had one except the operation was different, but I really don't want to be dealing with two different incisions at once, if at all possible. 

On an unrelated note, I must vent! I'd recently gotten really obsessed with reading the January 2013 Birth Club message boards on Baby Center's website to see what other women due around the same time were going through. I tried to read it recently after everything happened and I became so furious I had to close the page. So much whining about being uncomfortable and experiencing standard end of pregnancy symptoms. It just made me mad. I know I'd be just like them if I hadn't broken my ankle, but their "problems" sound very trivial to me compared to the issues I'm dealing with right now. I had to sign consent for an emergency c-section just in case they had to deliver my daughter unexpectedly on the operating table while they put a plate in my ankle last week. Instead of snuggling and enjoying our last few weeks alone, my husband has to inject me with blood thinners in my abdomen every day. Yes, I'm aware I sound very bitter. I will never ever take my health and mobility for granted again after all of this is over. 

What I'm Looking Forward to: Meeting my girl and forgetting everything else. I can't wait to see what she looks like!

No more bump pictures folks. I have no desire to document my appearance right now...believe me, I'm doing you a favor.

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